emotional stuff

We're now at the end of week 6 of our training, and next week is the biggie: my health group is giving an 8 hour lesson on HIV/AIDS in Kiswahili on Tuesday; on Wednesday, we have an oral Kiswahili language test; on Thursday we have the big written Kiswahili test; and on Friday we have the biggest of all: the FINAL oral Kiswahili test. Am I stressed? Yes. But there have been some small successes: I baked two chocolate cakes and one carrot cake with my family, and this was a BIG HIT!! The carrot cake was baked on a kerosene stove, with charcoal on top of the lid; now I know it can be done! And the language is starting to come out of my mouth a bit easier--Tony and I use Kiswahili words mixed in with English now, and it's actually really fun. But we're having some struggles too: we continue to realize that life is happening without us in the US, and realizing this makes us feel isolated and sad. People are sick, people are having babies, people are working hard, people are falling in love, people are relaxing and eating in restaurants with friends, people are baking cakes in lovely kitchens; life is going on, and we knew it would, but as we continue to hear from people, the reality of just how far away we are is setting in. I think this realization is part of the process of uprooting your life to live in another country; I have to keep reminding myself of WHY we're here: because we want to try to make this world a better place. We miss our family and friends so much, but we want to stick this out. We're healthy, we have lots of good new friends, and we live with a wonderful Tanzanian mama: we're ok. This is our life now, and we're adjusting and growing.

the good, the bad & the ugly

We're in week 5 of our training, and all is going pretty smoothly. Tony and I did really well on our mid-term tests (oral Kiswahili, written Kiswahili, and technical proficiency), and we went on our first safari last weekend! Let me say one thing: having to stop your car so that a wild giraffe can cross in front of you is an experience that everyone should have! So here are some sweeping generalizations about our lives here so far:

The Good
*Going on Safari and seeing giraffes, elephants, hippos, crocodiles, 1 hyena,warthogs, impala, wildebeest, cape buffalo and zebra. In the wild. Not in a zoo. Amazing!
*Doing well on our mid term tests. Big relief. Now we have a little proof that we're doing something right.
*Being able to say some complete thoughts in Kiswahili--not many, but it's becoming a bit easier.
*We have made some really great friends; we have gotten close with a few of our fellow trainees, and this has been excellent.
*We love living with our family. Our mama is patient and really loves that we live with her (she told our trainers this.) We eat delicious food at her house, and she couldn't be nicer. We will be sad to leave.

The Bad
*Moments of horrible homesickness. Sometimes I can barely think about my family and friends, because I miss them so much.
*Moments of overwhelming frustration with learning Kiswahili. When I can't say what I want to say, and maybe I'm having a bad day anyway--this can sometimes make me want to start packing my bags.
*Malaria. We all take anti-malaria medicine regularly (I hate the idea of doing this), and none of us (Peace Corps Trainees) have gotten sick with it yet. Lots of our families have had it, and some of our teachers have, too. Some of us have had really bad diarrhea and vomiting--there are threats to our health around every corner.

The Ugly
*Smoke. People cook on wood-burning outdoor stoves, and cooking goes on all the time, so the air is constantly smoky. In addition, people burn their trash, too, so these fires are extra-big, and we inhale the ashes all day long. We also use kerosene lamps and stoves, and the smell of kerosene makes my head hurt.
*Garbage. There is virtually no garbage collection, so people burn their trash--including plastic--sometimes. The roads are covered with garbage, and kids play with it.
*Dirt. Our bus trip for our safari took 2 1/2 hours, and we took it to the park and back. We inhaled endless amounts of dirt through the open windows; our boogers were rust colored (like the roads), our eye boogers were black, and I'm still cleaning dirt out of my ears 3 days later.

We miss the comforts of home: movies, being able to pet dogs, hot showers, clean water. Hot fudge sundaes. Down comforters. Stuff like that. Some days are good and some are not-- just like in the US. Keep those letters coming--we love them so much!!

i like tea

Yes, it's true: I like tea, and this is the sentence that I can say the best in Kiswahili ("Ninapenda Chai.") My language skills are progressing slowly ("pole pole"), but at least I'm moving forward. Tony can remember more words than I can, so it sometimes feels competitive when we study together. Every single conversation in Tanzania MUST begin with an exchange of greetings (in Kiswahili), and this is an example of conversations I have every day:

"I respect you, older person."-- or-- "Problems with your life?"
"I accept your respect and I'm delighted." --or--"No problems."
"How have you slept?"
"Peacefully."
"How did you wake up?"
"Peacefully."
"How is your morning/afternoon/early evening/evening?"
"Good."
"How is your work?"
"Good."
"How is your home?"
"Good."
"How is your family?"
"Good."
"See you later."
"Thank you, see you later."

I'm not kidding--if I want to buy some of my beloved tea, the transaction must begin with the above conversation first. Tony and I are spending about 8 hours a day in class, learning Kiswahili, and we study every night and practice talking with our family. We love our family and are predicting many tears when we leave. Next week is our mid-term language test, and after that we're going on safari to Mikumi National Park--we can't wait!! We have moments of extreme frustration, mainly because we can't say exactly what we want to; we also have moments of great satisfaction when we CAN say what we want to. We cooked "Pasta American" two nights ago, and it was a big hit--I had three Tanzanian women hovering around me as I prepared it. My next project is to bake some form of cookies or cake without baking powder or baking soda--wish me luck. Tanzanians LOVE sugar, and our mama can't wait for the baking lesson. Ok, so it's time to go back home and study--keep those letters coming, because you can't imagine how good it feels to get one.

our goats ran away...

So here's the post you've been waiting to read: all the juicy details of our lives in Tanzania. We live in a small village, part of a town called Kilosa (6 long, bumpy hours from Dar es Salaam). We live in a brick house with an indoor squat toilet ("choo"); we have electricity (most of the time); we have a private water well in our courtyard, and two times a day the water is routed inside, so WE HAVE A (cold) SHOWER AND RUNNING WATER! We live with a widowed mother of 5 grown children--she has the most amazing name, but I can't post it--who appears to be in her late 40s, her 18 year old son, and her ADORABLE 4 year old granddaughter. Our life here is very peaceful, and we are living in luxury, compared to most other people in our village. We even have a proper dining room, and our mama has a car and owns two businesses--we're spoiled. Our mama loves us, and she is incredibly kind and patient with us--she is taking her role (teaching us Tanzanian culture) VERY seriously, and she has infinite patience with us as we stumble and make constant mistakes in Kiswahili. We love her very much, and feel very lucky to have been placed in such a welcoming home for our 10 weeks of training. We have 3 goats--they ran away on Thursday, but my "kaka" (brother) found them. We have 4 cows. We have lots of chickens. We eat with our hands (beans, rice, cooked bananas, a polenta-like dish called "ugali," spinach, peas, tons of fresh fruit every day--we're spoiled, remember??, chapati), and we really like the food. It takes us 5 minutes to walk from our house into the center of Kilosa, which is where I'm writing this from. We have a tv, a computer, a printer, and a photocopier in our house, but we don't use them. We spend 8 hours every day in school (with 4 other Peace Corps trainees), 6 days a week, learning to speak Kiswahili. This is fatiguing, but we're getting better every day. I can now speak Kiswahili like a two year old Tanzanian child. When we're not in school, we are studying or practicing speaking with our family and people in our village. We washed two weeks worth of laundry today BY HAND, and it took almost 3 hours. Life is so incredibly hard here--people work so hard, and Tony and I feel like our lives have been very privileged. We love being here; we have moments of tremendous frustration, usually because we can't yet say what we want to. Here's our address for the next 9 weeks:
Carla Stanke
Peace Corps
PO Box 9123
Dar es Salaam
Tanzania
If you would like to send any goodies for our super-cute 4 year old "dada" (sister), feel free--I'm thinking crayons, coloring books, school supplies, etc. Our basic needs are met--we don't really need anything. We miss lovely soap and chocolate, however--just so you know. Once we get better at Kiswahili, we will start learning how to do our jobs. Not many people speak English, so we are completely immersed in Tanzanian life--it's working. We're not leaving!

hamjambo! ("hello to all!")

Hello from Kilosa!!! Tony and I moved in with our host family last Sunday, and we are very happy here. We have a mama (but I can't name her--Peace Corps rules) who really seems to like us, and is being VERY patient and kind with us as we learn to speak Kiswahili. Basically we spend EVERY DAY in groups of five doing "Community Based Training," which is learning how to speak and get along in Tanzanian communities. My Kiswahili is already better than yesterday, but it's a very slow process. Every day we walk around and meet people from our tiny village, and today I met two Masai women--they were wearing their full, traditional Masai attire, and I exchanged pleasantries with them and shook their hands--culturally shocking experience for me, for sure!! Ok, we just discovered this internet cafe, and it's almost time for it to close, so I'll write more in the next few days. Kwa herini! ("Goodbye to all!")

we're here!!

I'm writing this from the Peace Corps Headquarters in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania! We arrived last evening at 10pm, after a smooth journey from Philly via Amsterdam. We all went as a group (we were met by Peace Corps people) to our hotel (kind of like a training compound) and crashed--major jet lag. Our room is very simple, kind of like a tiny dorm room with a double bed (and a mosquito net), and we share a bathroom with another couple. We really like our group--wide range of backgrounds and personalities. I'M IN AFRICA--can you believe it?? So we're here in Dar for a couple of days, going through lots of orientation stuff, then we go to Kilosa for 10 weeks of intensive training. Tony and I found out that we will be living together for training--we were initially told that we might not, so we're really happy and relieved. The next ten weeks of our lives will be focusing on learning Swahili, learning about Tanzanian culture, learning our jobs, and learning how to stay safe and healthy while living here. We move in with our host family on Saturday or Sunday, and I'm very eager to meet them. My anxieties are starting to melt--we've met lots of volunteers who are living here now, and they are thriving. Check out the picture of our group on Tony's blog (we took the photo right before we boarded the plane in NYC): www.antnystoney.blogspot.com. We're leaving the headquarters any minute, so I need to end for the day, but I did learn something else today that will make it easier for me to stay in touch: it's FREE for me to receive incoming calls on my cell phone (once I get one!), and it will be pretty cheap for you if you call with Skype. Worth investigating. Time to take my malaria medicine!!

hello from philly!

We're in Philadelphia right now, attending what the Peace Corps calls "staging." Staging is where we meet all the other Americans who are going to Tanzania with us, learn about Peace Corps policy and procedure, and prepare for our first days in Tanzania. One thing that is required of me in my blog, for previous posts and future posts: the contents of this website are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the US government or the Peace Corps. There--fulfilled that requirement. So I think we're going with a really good group of people: there are 25 of us all together (10 of us are members of married couples, 5 people are older than Tony and I, and the rest are 20-somethings.) Interesting group--we're all either Health Education Volunteers or Environmental Volunteers, and it seems like, for the most part, we'll all basically get along. Tony and I had another major re-packing session tonight (6 times now? 7 times?), and we'll re-pack again in Dar es Salaam, the city in Tanzania that we're flying into (reason for the future re-pack: we don't need ALL of our stuff for our 10 weeks of training). We arrive in Dar on Tuesday evening, spend two nights in a hotel there, then on Thursday we go to a city called Kilosa where we'll spend two nights in a different hotel before moving in with our host family for 10 weeks of training. I'm excited, I'm nervous, I'm pre-menstrual, I'm exhausted. We got dinner delivered to our hotel room the last two nights (Indian last night, Thai tonight), and ate in our room, watching bad tv. It feels like the hardest goodbyes are behind me, because everyone I care about is someplace other than here--I'm ready to go. Stay tuned!!