remember me?

Yes, it's been a long time since my last blog entry, sorry to keep you in suspense. Our computer time has been particularly limited lately, so without further delay, here's the news:

Kibakwe is turning brown. The rains stopped in March, and we won't get rain again until November or December. The weather is chilly at night, the sun is kali ("fierce") during the day, and the winds are starting. The farmers have mostly harvested their peanuts and corn, and are working on harvesting sunflowers (to make into cooking oil) right now. After the harvest, there is no additional farming work to do until October or November, when it's time to start preparing the farms for the next planting. That means that the upcoming months are a good time for projects that involve the community (as opposed to projects that involve students or teachers) because people are around (not on the farms) and have time. Unfortunately, the "months of rest" also offer ample time for pombe (home-brewed alcohol) consumption, which, in my opinion, contributes significantly to hiv infection rates. I read an excellent book, recommended by a good Peace Corps friend, called The Invisible Cure, by Helen Epstein. It discusses hiv/aids in Sub-Saharan Africa, and the various projects by charitable organizations that have succeeded and failed with regard to hiv/aids intervention, and the reasons why. If you're interested in this subject like I am, you will read this book--really, really interesting.

Despite the lack of rain, our garden is still doing pretty well--in spite of the chickens who manage to sneak in and eat everything they can. We got a steady supply of Chinese cabbage (the chicken's favorite), beets, green onions, lettuce, green beans, mchicha (local spinach), green peppers, and a few squash and zucchini. Cabbage and carrots look promising (they take a little longer), and our papaya trees (we planted dozens) are doing extremely well--we're hoping to get fruit by the end of the year. Our tomatoes were a disaster--not one single tomato. We have a water pump in our yard that has mostly been working (the water line that supplies our pump gets cut off from time to time, and these random "line diversions" will become more and more frequent the further into the dry season that we get), so we've been able to water our garden almost every single day. There are very few vegetable gardens in Kibakwe (there are lots of huge farms, in contrast, which rely exclusively on rain for water), because water is such a huge problem; as a result, there are very few vegetables to buy in our tiny market (most veggies come from Mpwapwa, which actually really come from Morogoro or Arusha, where there's rain all year). The reason I'm saying this is because people have been knocking on our door every single day, asking to buy veggies from us. Our dudes, Gilbert and Zizo, took the initiative to create a large garden of their own, hoping to make some money selling vegetables to meet the demands of our villagers. The used the concepts of permaculture that they learned from one of our Peace Corps workshops; the garden looks really good, and they've actually begun selling things. Hongera sana ("Congratulations!!")

Pipi the kitten is great, as sweet and affectionate as any cat I've ever met in my life. I've only heard her hiss once, at a strange boy cat who started coming around when she was in heat. I honestly can't tell if she's pregnant. She doesn't help keep the chickens out of the yard--she could care less, frankly, but she does like to hunt for mice and bring them under our bed to play with/eat them. She sleeps with us every single night, in our bed, which Tanzanians find hilarious when I tell them. I explain that Americans really value their pets (specifically, dogs and cats) and treat them really well; I do this to try to demonstrate that there are other ways to interact with animals other than beating them, which is normal behavior here.

Tony and I each conducted a one-day hiv/aids seminar last month; his audience was the villagers who are members of the various hiv/aids groups that exist in Kibakwe (the groups don't actually do much, but they have meetings occasionally, and expressed a strong interest in learning accurate hiv/aids information), and my audience was the primary and secondary school teachers of Kibakwe. In general, the workshops went really well, particularly the workshop for the villagers: they were thrilled to receive books about hiv/aids and nutrition (donated by Peace Corps, written in Kiswahili), and our head doctor (the main presenter) did an excellent job of engaging everyone. Each workshop was a little different, because not all the villagers could read and write, but all the teachers could; knowing this, the doctor made sure he adjusted his teaching style and vocabulary accordingly. Everyone was fed breakfast and lunch, got to watch videos about hiv/aids issues like stigma, and left with a pile of books. For days after, people came to our house or stopped us in the street, telling us how great the workshop was, how they can't wait for the next one. The dynamic with the group of teachers was different; they appeared less interested and engaged than the villagers, and some were irritated that they didn't get a posho-- a daily wage paid to people so that they attend workshops or other events. Tony and I decided long ago that we would not offer posho to people when we organized events; we feel like paying people to learn is not within the spirit of learning, that education and educational materials were the most important thing to go home with. Unfortunately, the posho system is alive and well in Tanzania, and it's a big problem, but we're not going to do it, despite the grumblings from the teachers. The preparations for our workshops were huge, but we did them together, and are happy with our results. We have submitted all the paperwork to close these grants, so once everything is finalized, we can work on the next projects: Tony wants to paint a giant mural about hiv/aids with his art club students on a wall in town that everyone sees every single day, and I would like to do weekly video showings (I got at least 10 videos about hiv/aids and related issues from Peace Corps) at the secondary school. We are also working with the secondary school head master and teachers about ideas for income generating activities for the students, so prostitution doesn't have to look like the best option. Stay tuned!

Our one year anniversary of living in Tanzania is June 12, two days from now. I have a very hard time believing that I've lived in Africa for the last year. So where am I, mentally and emotionally and physically, compared to a year ago? I understand the extremely complicated nature of the problems of Tanzania, particularly about health issues, much better then I did one year ago--understanding the dynamics of life in Tanzania is difficult, and sometimes I feel overwhelmed, but I can now observe and understand a little better WHY people make the choices they do. I still get frustrated that I can't speak Kiswahili fluently, but again, I remember where I was one year ago and am amazed at how far I've come. I feel tired here a lot, which I mostly attribute to living under the microscope 24 hours a day; people are endlessly interested in me and what I have to say and where I'm going and what I'm doing and what I'm cooking and what I'm wearing. I've learned to accept that I will be laughed at and scrutinized every day: if I wear American clothes I am stared at and if I wear Tanzanian clothes I am stared at; if I speak Kiswahili perfectly I will be laughed at, and if I make mistakes with Kiswahili I will be laughed at, too. My body is thinner, because we walk a lot, cook all our own food (except when we travel outside of Kibakwe), and usually don't eat snacks; I have diarrhea much more frequently than I did in American (bet you're happy to know that!!), which I think is because of all the poop we live with: every single day I see donkeys, goats, cows, pigs, chickens, guinea fowl, ducks, cats and dogs, walking the streets and pooping everywhere. Even if I wash my hands religiously and boil my drinking water and eat only my cooking, which I do, I am still surrounded by poop. I miss America and I miss my friends and family and I miss comfort and ease and feeling like I can let my guard down. I worry about money and jobs and what our futures will look like when we leave Tanzania, and I worry about feeling angry with Americans for having so much and being so wasteful. I am so happy to be here and to have all the experiences I am having, and to know that my perception of the world will forever be colored by my time in Tanzania. Thanks for reading.

at long last

I'm so sorry for the long delay in updating my blog. I realize it must be boring and frustrating to check for any new updates and find nothing, time after time. Thanks for sticking with me. So here's the news, some of which may explain the dry spell in writing my blog.

Tony and I got our grants approved, which is great news. Our grants were written to get funds to sponsor two different HIV education days, one for Kibakwe's teachers, and the other for Kibakwe's HIV/AIDS support group members. Our head doctor will be the main teacher, along with our next-door neighbor, a nurse midwife (and my most favorite Tanzanian friend). There is a serious lack of information about HIV in our area, so we are doing our best to fill that need. The scheduled dates for our workshops are May 17 and May 24, so we are up to our ears in preparations right now. Like I've said before, Tony and I are excellent planners and organizers, so I expect everything to run smoothly, and for participants to be really, really happy with the workshops. We have already purchases all the supplies, gotten a ton of books (in Kiswahili) about HIV from the Peace Corps, hired some mamas to cook everyone breakfast and lunch, and are showing a short video, also in Kiswahili. More than anything else, Tony and I view our roles as Peace Corps Volunteers in two ways: first, as positive role models in our community, particularly for the high school students, and second as event coordinators for activities that relate to health and well being. We have access to resources that our villagers don't know about, so we try to funnel those resources (books, educational opportunities, and interesting videos, to name a few) into Kibakwe with the hopes that the recipients will pass their new knowledge onto others. This is what sustainability means. We'll take lots of pictures and will post them after we finish.

After the HIV workshops are completed, we have a whole new situation to throw ourselves into: the recent confirmed discovery of prostitution within the high school. Here's the bottom line: Kibakwe is very, very far away from just about everything, and the opportunity to find work just doesn't exist. There are virtually no means of earning extra money, and high school students, like everyone else, like to drink sodas every once in a while. Unfortunately, prostitution seemed like the obvious answer. I can't stop anyone from doing anything, but the least I can do is make sure they understand about protecting themselves from HIV. There are also problems with alcohol and marijuana abuse (I imagine this is a similar challenge facing high school students all over the world, actually), and, as always, I link everything to HIV infection. I wish I could offer these kids the opportunity to continue on to higher education after they finish high school (IF they finish high school, which isn't very common), but there really aren't scholarships and grants for Tanzanian colleges and technical schools like there are in the US. How do I offer a glimmer of hope?? Still trying to figure that out.

Tony was sick for a couple of weeks, but has now completely recovered. We thought it was malaria, but it turned out to be a staph infection from scratching his bug bites. One quick trip (ha ha, nothing is quick!!) to Dar es Salaam to meet with the medical office confirmed this diagnosis, and after the course of antibiotics, he's fine. I've had the blues--life is hard everywhere, I know, but it seems that sometimes the bad stuff about being here piles up on my shoulders and kicks my butt from time to time. Best solution is to bake a cake and eat it, while curling up with a book. No one said this would be easy.

Pipi the kitten was just in heat, so I might be a grandmother ("bibi" in Kiswahili) in the near future. I've never had a pet that wasn't spayed or neutered before, so this was a first for me. Not fun. She's fine now, back to her sweet, affectionate and loving self.

We are entering the winter months, and the temperature at night has gotten chilly--it's been dipping into the 50s, which has Tanzanians getting out their hats and coats. Don't laugh, those of you in Wisconsin--remember that we live in the desert in Sub-Saharan Africa, and it's HOT here. Feels good to use a blanket at night.

I just celebrated my 36th birthday in Kibakwe! It was a quiet, relaxing day; Tony made torillas and guacamole, and I baked a cake. No fan fare, just mellow. A fine day.

Enjoy spring in the US. I wish we could see the daffodils and tulips and smell the lilacs, my most favorite signal of spring. We miss you.

rain!

It's been raining almost every day, and we couldn't be happier. The farms are doing well, and our garden is green and lush--people are really happy, hata sisi ("even us".)
We had a house full of Peace Corps friends for Easter, which was great. In case I haven't mentioned it recently, our house is TINY, and we had 7 of us total, sleeping on every available surface. We cooked lots of delicious food, listened to music, laughed a lot, and enjoyed relaxing together.
Our Peace Corps supervisors were very pleased with our grant proposals for the hiv education days, and we should have no problem getting the funds. Considering this was the first time we ever wrote grants, I think we did pretty well. Tony and I are great planners and organizers, and I'm expecting these projects to go really, really smoothly.
What else? Pipi the kitten is happy and healthy, and I've really grown to love her--I miss her when we're away from home. I'm actually thinking of bringing her back to America with us!
On a personal note, I would like to say a special thank you to everyone who has made the effort to keep in touch with us. I cannot possibly explain how happy it makes us to get emails, letters or text messages from home. This has, without question, been the most difficult experience of our lives, and support from home makes everything a little brighter. It was our choice to attempt something like this, it's been incredibly difficult, but we're happy to be here and our connections with our families and friends make us feel stronger. Asanteni sana, tunawapenda ninyi wote ("thank you all very much, we love you all.")

Yep, I can speak Kiswahili. Can you believe it?

burning question

Why, you may ask, are there no photos on my blog? Because I don't know how to put them there. Once we get a new hard drive for our laptop, Tony claims he will teach me how. While you're waiting, check out his blog--he has lots.

It's POURING rain in Mpwapwa right now, and we are thrilled! I'm hoping this storm makes its way to Kibakwe to give the farms and our garden a little lovin'.

drumroll, please

The results are in: our Women's Day hiv testing event was a BIG success! Our doctors and nurses tested a total of 313 people (WAY more than I thought we would), and 7 turned out to be hiv positive (five female, two male.) 11 secondary students made posters advertising the day, which we posted all over town; over 30 secondary school students sang, danced, and played drums; a group of mamas also sang and played drums, and we all marched together in a big parade, gathering people as we went along, from one end of town to the other. The head doctor, who was our main supporter in organizing this day, hired a dj (who had HUGE speakers) to play music, which attracted tons of curious people. Everyone was very, very pleased with the amount of community interest and involvement, and we are more eager than ever to continue doing hiv-related projects. In fact, we are working on grants to sponsor two hiv education days: one for our town's teachers, so that they can confidently implement hiv education into their teaching, and the other for our town's members of an hiv/aids awareness and outreach group, so that they can confidently educate and support their fellow villagers. Anyway, three disappointments from Women's Day, despite how well it went overall: our counterparts, Zizo and Gilbert, didn't show up to help us, because of family problems; the testers ran out of testing supplies (they didn't expect such a high turnout), so there was a period of 2-3 hours while we waited for more to be brought--did people lose their motivation to be tested because they had to wait??; and finally, not a surprise, the majority of teenagers that I spoke with that day refused to be tested because they were scared to learn the results. As one young guy told me, "I am afraid to test because if I learn today that I have hiv, this is the last day of my life." This will be our biggest obstacle, truthfully: helping people overcome their fear of learning their hiv status. By and large, most people in our town (maybe in Tanzania??) just don't want to know. This is why we have an AIDS epidemic. Our head doctor estimates that 15% of the people in Kibakwe are hiv positive, and it was recently confirmed from the headmaster of our secondary school that prostitution is an on-going concern within the student body population. We have a lot of work to do; as we say in Kiswahili, hatua kwa hatua ("step by step.")

Ok, other delightful news: I am recovering from my first case of intestinal amoebas, or some other lovely creature that decided to take up residence in my colon. Not pretty, that's all I'll say. Once I'm back in America, I will never again take for granted the comfort and grace of having explosive, uncontrollable diarrhea while sitting on a toilet.

We haven't had much rain, which is freaking people out. Our water supply from the pump in our yard has been mostly uninterrupted, so our garden is coming along really well. Tomatoes, carrots, cabbage, various greens, cucumbers and zucchini have all started, as well as sunflowers. We pray for rain and study the skies every day; if it doesn't come, there will be disastrous results for the farmers--and just about everyone in Kibakwe is a farmer. No rain=no crops to sell=no money to buy food. Please send rain vibes our way.

Pipi the kitten is continuing to purr her way into our hearts. Truth be told: I am her favorite person. She likes to spend her days playing in our neighbor's cornfield and climbing our fence, pausing occasionally for naps on my lap.

Other regions of Tanzania have had lots of rain, so our big veggie market in Mpwapwa is exploding: giant cabbages, mountains of avocados, huge carrots, fresh peas, watermelons, and squash are currently in abundance. In sad news, mango season is over, and pineapples are dwindling. I already mourn the loss. Now that I am on the mend from my recent bowel adventures, I will again be cooking giant pots of coconut rice and spicy peanut sauce, my current faves.

We hear that spring has arrived in the states. Enjoy the melting snow, the emergence of green grass, and maybe even the daffodils that might be peeking out. As always, I'll keep you posted. I am sending love and smiles from Tanzania.

dada mkali

Yep, that's what I was called: Dada Mkali, or a Fierce Sister. This isn't meant as an insult--it usually means a person who takes charge and gets things done. It can also mean a person who's mean, usually from drinking too much, or just an overall nasty person. In my instance, it was meant as the weird compliment, as someone who gets things done. This description was uttered by a Peace Corps driver, heard by a friend, and was re-told to me not too long ago. My favorite Peace Corps employee was described as mkali, and I really like her, so I decided not to be upset. That's why I'm here: to get things done.

We're had an incredibly busy past two weeks. We finished our malaria sign campaign, and our village leaders are THRILLED with the signs that Tony made. We successfully taught our first permaculture/nutrition class with our dudes, and it was really well-received. I was overwhelmed by how interested our villagers were in learning basic food group and nutrition information. Actually, the preparations for this class took up most of our time, but it was worth it. We gathered our first harvest of mchicha (Tanzanian spinach), and it was delicious! The rains have been minimal, which is a source of stress, and we study the skies every day. Here's the big news: we came up with our idea for an International Women's Day project for March 8. We wrote up a proposal for a big HIV testing event to take place on Women's Day, in honor of women and with respect to protecting them. We showed our proposal to our village's doctors, nurses and leaders, and they loved the idea. Our leaders are going to get students to sing, dance and play drums at the event, and some of the "power mamas" want to organize a parade and carry signs in honor of women. So this little, tiny idea of ours is blossoming, and we're going to keep nudging everyone to keep the ball rolling--excitement is contagious, and all we did is plant the seed. I'm hoping that over 100 people will get tested for HIV--that's my personal goal, just a number I picked out of the sky. Maybe no one will get tested, maybe everyone will get tested--I'm preparing myself for either outcome. One thing is certain: people are very, very afraid to be tested for HIV here, and would rather just not know. I'm hoping for three things: to help people overcome their fear of knowing their HIV status, to help people stay healthy if they are not infected, and to help infected people live positively with their disease and stay as healthy as possible. My next blog update will let you know. How will you celebrate women on March 8?

Yes, Pipi the adorable kitten is doing well. She looks at me and starts purring, and sleeps on my belly during the night. She is afraid of dogs, is disinterested in chickens, and is endlessly fascinated by blades of grass and the rug at the foot of our bed.

As I'm writing this, it's 5:45pm, and the most glorious breeze is blowing through the computer lab. This is my absolute favorite time of day in our little part of Tanzania, when the sun stops being harsh and the breezes start blowing. When we're at home, we're usually cooking and listening to music during this time (called "jioni" in Kiswahili) and winding down the day, and I really love it. Tonight we're going out for dinner with some of our Mpwapwa Peace Corps friends: we're in the mood for chipsi rosti, which is fried potatoes cooked in a delicious tomato/pepper/garlic/onion sauce. Last night I baked a pineapple upside-down cake, and avocados are coming into season. We're doing ok.

a full update

We're settled back into life in Kibakwe, and things are moving along smoothly. Our fence is finished, and we now have a gate as well--no more uninvited chickens, guinea fowl, goats or cows wandering around our yard. It's pretty spectacular, actually--it's a living fence, meaning the trees that were cut down to make it re-sprouted and are growing back, and are producing leaves that people here like to collect and eat. Gilbert's wife taught me how to collect the best leaves, then pound them into a paste with garlic and boil with onions, tomatoes and peanut flour--really delicious, called kisamvu. This is a tribal dish, really common for our region's Wagogo people. Our garden is also coming along well; Tony and our dudes have double-dug (a technique in permaculture where you dig a garden bed twice as deep as normal so the roots grow down, not out, thus producing stronger, more productive plants in a smaller space--also utilizes a series of channels to collect rainwater and minimize erosion--really cool) at least 8 beds, and we've planted mchicha (Tanzanian spinach), tomatoes, carrots, cabbage, Chinese cabbage, butternut squash, zucchini and papaya trees so far--other things to plant in the near future include melon (seeds from US), other greens native to Tanzania, corn, beans, peanuts, and lettuce (seeds from US.) Tony and I and our dudes are teaching a permaculture gardening class in a few weeks, planning to introduce these easy gardening techniques to our villagers with the hope that they will return to their homes and plant small gardens nearby, thus improving their health through increased veggie/fruit consumption; I'll do a small piece on nutrition, and I'm really looking forward to it.

What else? We've started our malaria sign campaign, which involves making signs about malaria prevention and posting them around our town. Our town's head doctor really liked our idea and gave his full approval to our prototype. We finished one sign already and will do several more, hanging them in strategic locations like the veggie market, the health center and the schools. We also met with our next door neighbor, the town's nurse midwife, and had a long meeting about women's health and reproductive issues in Kibakwe. She and I will go to the secondary school (high school) and give some lessons about birth control and other issues related to sexuality. Tony and I would like to start video nights, where we show videos about HIV and related subjects, then have a group discussion afterwards; again, we would like to focus these efforts within the schools, because we think it's important to focus on the students. Finally, we're planning to start a little English class at our house, for those students interested in REALLY learning English; all of secondary school (high school) is taught exclusively in English, yet almost no one graduates being able to really speak or understand English. The students simply copy everything from the blackboard into their notebooks and memorize it for exams, without comprehending much of anything. International Women's Day is March 8; trying to come up with something great! Whew! Lots of plans, so many ideas--no harm in trying anything, because even if a project fails, we'll know we tried.

Our kitten, Pipi, is thriving. She has almost doubled in size since joining our household, eating a steady diet of dagaa (dried sardines) and powdered milk every day, plus table scraps. Her fur is thick and shiny now, and the sores on her nose have gone away. She is also proudly wearing a flea collar, courtesy of a dear friend in America--no more fleas!! She purrs like crazy, loves to eat bugs, and sits on our front steps every day, surveying our yard like a watchdog. When she wanders off, she goes over to our neighbor's house and curls up on top of their cable box (it's warm) and has a nap. She's unbelievably cute.

Tony and I are in a good groove; we're healthy and excited to have projects underway. We miss the comforts of home and the people there every single day, and regularly play the "if you could eat anything right now, what would you choose?" game. Home will still be there, veggie burgers will still be there, bloody marys will still be there when we finish this gig. I'm really trying to focus on the present: I live HERE right now, and I need to keep my mind here. It's easy to start spinning: where will we live when we finish in Tanzania? What will do? Will we buy a house? Where? What about grad school? Kids? Exhausting. I'm here, trying to enjoy my beans and rice one plate at a time.