emotional stuff

We're now at the end of week 6 of our training, and next week is the biggie: my health group is giving an 8 hour lesson on HIV/AIDS in Kiswahili on Tuesday; on Wednesday, we have an oral Kiswahili language test; on Thursday we have the big written Kiswahili test; and on Friday we have the biggest of all: the FINAL oral Kiswahili test. Am I stressed? Yes. But there have been some small successes: I baked two chocolate cakes and one carrot cake with my family, and this was a BIG HIT!! The carrot cake was baked on a kerosene stove, with charcoal on top of the lid; now I know it can be done! And the language is starting to come out of my mouth a bit easier--Tony and I use Kiswahili words mixed in with English now, and it's actually really fun. But we're having some struggles too: we continue to realize that life is happening without us in the US, and realizing this makes us feel isolated and sad. People are sick, people are having babies, people are working hard, people are falling in love, people are relaxing and eating in restaurants with friends, people are baking cakes in lovely kitchens; life is going on, and we knew it would, but as we continue to hear from people, the reality of just how far away we are is setting in. I think this realization is part of the process of uprooting your life to live in another country; I have to keep reminding myself of WHY we're here: because we want to try to make this world a better place. We miss our family and friends so much, but we want to stick this out. We're healthy, we have lots of good new friends, and we live with a wonderful Tanzanian mama: we're ok. This is our life now, and we're adjusting and growing.

the good, the bad & the ugly

We're in week 5 of our training, and all is going pretty smoothly. Tony and I did really well on our mid-term tests (oral Kiswahili, written Kiswahili, and technical proficiency), and we went on our first safari last weekend! Let me say one thing: having to stop your car so that a wild giraffe can cross in front of you is an experience that everyone should have! So here are some sweeping generalizations about our lives here so far:

The Good
*Going on Safari and seeing giraffes, elephants, hippos, crocodiles, 1 hyena,warthogs, impala, wildebeest, cape buffalo and zebra. In the wild. Not in a zoo. Amazing!
*Doing well on our mid term tests. Big relief. Now we have a little proof that we're doing something right.
*Being able to say some complete thoughts in Kiswahili--not many, but it's becoming a bit easier.
*We have made some really great friends; we have gotten close with a few of our fellow trainees, and this has been excellent.
*We love living with our family. Our mama is patient and really loves that we live with her (she told our trainers this.) We eat delicious food at her house, and she couldn't be nicer. We will be sad to leave.

The Bad
*Moments of horrible homesickness. Sometimes I can barely think about my family and friends, because I miss them so much.
*Moments of overwhelming frustration with learning Kiswahili. When I can't say what I want to say, and maybe I'm having a bad day anyway--this can sometimes make me want to start packing my bags.
*Malaria. We all take anti-malaria medicine regularly (I hate the idea of doing this), and none of us (Peace Corps Trainees) have gotten sick with it yet. Lots of our families have had it, and some of our teachers have, too. Some of us have had really bad diarrhea and vomiting--there are threats to our health around every corner.

The Ugly
*Smoke. People cook on wood-burning outdoor stoves, and cooking goes on all the time, so the air is constantly smoky. In addition, people burn their trash, too, so these fires are extra-big, and we inhale the ashes all day long. We also use kerosene lamps and stoves, and the smell of kerosene makes my head hurt.
*Garbage. There is virtually no garbage collection, so people burn their trash--including plastic--sometimes. The roads are covered with garbage, and kids play with it.
*Dirt. Our bus trip for our safari took 2 1/2 hours, and we took it to the park and back. We inhaled endless amounts of dirt through the open windows; our boogers were rust colored (like the roads), our eye boogers were black, and I'm still cleaning dirt out of my ears 3 days later.

We miss the comforts of home: movies, being able to pet dogs, hot showers, clean water. Hot fudge sundaes. Down comforters. Stuff like that. Some days are good and some are not-- just like in the US. Keep those letters coming--we love them so much!!

i like tea

Yes, it's true: I like tea, and this is the sentence that I can say the best in Kiswahili ("Ninapenda Chai.") My language skills are progressing slowly ("pole pole"), but at least I'm moving forward. Tony can remember more words than I can, so it sometimes feels competitive when we study together. Every single conversation in Tanzania MUST begin with an exchange of greetings (in Kiswahili), and this is an example of conversations I have every day:

"I respect you, older person."-- or-- "Problems with your life?"
"I accept your respect and I'm delighted." --or--"No problems."
"How have you slept?"
"Peacefully."
"How did you wake up?"
"Peacefully."
"How is your morning/afternoon/early evening/evening?"
"Good."
"How is your work?"
"Good."
"How is your home?"
"Good."
"How is your family?"
"Good."
"See you later."
"Thank you, see you later."

I'm not kidding--if I want to buy some of my beloved tea, the transaction must begin with the above conversation first. Tony and I are spending about 8 hours a day in class, learning Kiswahili, and we study every night and practice talking with our family. We love our family and are predicting many tears when we leave. Next week is our mid-term language test, and after that we're going on safari to Mikumi National Park--we can't wait!! We have moments of extreme frustration, mainly because we can't say exactly what we want to; we also have moments of great satisfaction when we CAN say what we want to. We cooked "Pasta American" two nights ago, and it was a big hit--I had three Tanzanian women hovering around me as I prepared it. My next project is to bake some form of cookies or cake without baking powder or baking soda--wish me luck. Tanzanians LOVE sugar, and our mama can't wait for the baking lesson. Ok, so it's time to go back home and study--keep those letters coming, because you can't imagine how good it feels to get one.