new insights

Earlier in the evening, on the way to sell my car, I had a major realization that was quite sobering: the past year and a half has been an endless lesson in surrendering. We surrendered when our dog died--no control over that heartbreaking situation. We surrendered when we sold our house--our stuff is in storage and for the first time in our adult lives, we do not have a place to call our own. We surrendered when we quit our jobs--no more source of income, making everything feel extra scary. We surrendered when we sold our vehicles--no way to get ourselves around without asking someone else for help. We surrendered when we went to Asia for our holiday in March--had no idea what to expect. And now this: surrendering to Tanzania, with every single variable completely unknown. Where will we live? How will we bathe? Will we be together (for the first ten weeks of training)? What will we eat? Will people be nice to us? Will I get a massage in the next two years? I might be ready for the scales to tip in the other direction, but maybe that's precisely the lesson that I'm supposed to be learning: that I can't really control anything, anyway, so I might as well just go along for the ride. Quite a task for a control-freak Taurus like myself. After this realization, Tony and I said goodbye to his family at his sister Jeanie's house, and it was really nice to sit around and talk and laugh. I think I might finally be packed, too--six must have been the magic number. If it's not in my suitcase by now, just send it to me, ok??